What a Toddler Sees
As my daughter's vocabulary grows I learn more and more about myself.
Like many toddlers, Lily is very observant. She loves to mimic my words and actions. Most of the time these instances warm my heart. On other occasions, I cringe with the mortifying realization that she is portraying a rather challenging moment in time.
Of course, I regularly try to be careful with my word selection. I try to be mindful as much as possible. But life happens - No one is perfect and some days are harder than others.
A few weeks ago, we had a bit of a warm spell in Dallas. This lovely surprise caused a few wasps to find their way inside of our home. Ironically the exterminator was scheduled for the next day.
Anyways, I am not a bug person, and I especially do not like to kill them. So, to see one wasp, flying around the living room made me instantly stress out. (I know, I know there are worst things in life.)
I quickly hurried my daughter out of the room. Then, just as quickly, I lost my mindfulness and carefulness around my word selection.
Let's just say I had a few choice words for the first wasp as I tried to shoo it out the front door. Then to my dismay, I noticed a second, and - OMG the third wasp. "What was happening?" My stress turned into a frantic dance into the kitchen to get the bug spray. I also called out to my daughter to stay away and to color.
As I returned and sprayed the wasps, ugh I had to watch them drop and wiggle. I couldn't help but act like a child myself. Embarrassingly I scurried around trying to figure out how to put them out of their misery. In a frustrated tone; I shouted and called them "dumb bugs" and acted like a wasp apocalypse was occurring.
As I was scooping them up. I realized my daughter had come back into the room. She was standing behind me laughing and shouting "Dumb bugs, Dumb bugs."
"No Lily. Don't say that. Mommy wasn't nice. I am sorry." I replied.
"Mommy it's ok, I am right here for you." She said as she rubbed my back while I continued scooping up the bugs. It was at that moment that I knew everything was ok. At some point, she had also learned to care.
Even though Lily has replayed the scene out several times by running around the room, shouting "dumb bugs,” I know that raising a child is a continual process. And I am trying my hardest to do what is right for her knowing that there are going to be a few mess ups along the way.
What are your messy mom moments?